Some misconceptions of valentine’s day

this is a repost. sort of.

one more misconception about valentines day, its not the day to try to get a girlfriend or reveal your feelings for someone. its a day to go out with someone you’re already in a relationship with. not a day to begin a new one. don’t get caught up in the media hype. why is this so, you ask?

1. its not a special day for the girl. you’re just doing it because you “feel safe” that everyone else is doing it, hoping it’ll improve your chances. but in the end, you’ll just look like everyone else.

2. more on the “everyone else bit”, everywhere you go will be a couple doing something. which can get fucking annoying. you won’t be able to do anything, because its either booked out or full of disgusting couples in love.

3. and the most important point, that goes for non-valentine’s day attempts as well. if she does not like you, any overtly romantic gesture on your part will only annoy the fuck out of her. and there’s nothing more overtly romantic than roses and shit on valentine’s day. you think you can win a girl’s heart by doing all sorts of romantic or sincere bullshit. you are wrong. if a girl does not like you, there is nothing you can do, nothing you can buy, nothing you can say or write that will make her change her mind. ask any girl you know. this is true. she has to like you by herself, on her own accord, hopefully for who you are, not what you are.

on the flip side of this, when a girl already does like you, you can do, and get her anything and she will be happy with it. but you have to do something.

if she doesn’t like you, stop whatever you are planning on doing while you still have any shred of dignity and self worth left. what i wrote above about having to get something for your girlfriend is common sense. what i write now is from adequate experience. i have been, and i’ve seen other guys get, chewed up and spit out, and left emotionally crippled.

and for what? if she does not like you, its time to move on. its never worth trying to win over a girl who doesn’t want to be won. it can’t be done, and its a miserable spiral downwards towards humiliation and depredation. you are better off finding someone who shares your feelings for you. trust me on this. if you love someone more than she loves you, its time to move on because the shit won’t work. it won’t work. find someone who loves you as much as you love her, and you’ll become one of the disguting couples i avoid in public. and you’ll be far happier than with someone who doesn’t really like you.

even though it’s still a long way from Valentine’s Day, it’s something worth remembering. never ever try to get into a relationship on or near Valentine’s Day. chances of you getting together with her would be so fucking low that it’s actually funny if it happens. also, think about it. if the girl actually agrees to enter into a relationship with you around that time… she’s either desperate or she’s just not that into you but wants the attention anyway. be prepared for her to dump you the minute it’s over.

point 3 is definitely something i will keep in mind. i tend to get into that a lot. i tend to get carried away by being too nice. it’s probably nice the first few times. but after awhile, i do admit the attention gets too cloying. and that’s something i’m trying to come to terms with. i know what kind of person i am. if i like someone, i really do try my best to give them what i can.

i’m not overly romantic. i don’t know how to be romantic. but i do know how to give of myself. and i will give until there’s nothing left to give. but that’s a story for another day.

to be honest though, i seem to be just a friend to every girl i know. and that fucking sucks. yes i know there’s someone out there who may be waiting for me. but dammit! i want her to look for me too! and she better have a map. if she gets lost out there…