This afternoon was my group’s turn for micro-teaching. Last week, two groups had presented on SBA so this week, my group will be presenting on MLEA.
N was good! In fact, she was so good that I actually just wanted to find a crawl space to hide. For all my CELTA experience and whatnot, I have to say she was a natural. Someone once said to me that there are people who have a natural flair for teaching. N is one of those.
K was calm and she has a very soothing personality.
Actually, ever since coming into NIE, I’ve started doubting myself more and more. It’s a struggle to stay afloat amidst the assignments, group works and readings. Despite whatever experience I thought I had, I am really finding it very tough to come up with lesson plans, unit plans and all the little things in-between.
I know that I joined this PGDE programme to learn and that it is alright to feel overwhelmed as long as I keep at it. It is just frustrating that I am not as good as I can be even though I have been trying.
This is something I have been wanting for a long time and now that I have gotten into this programme, I feel like maybe I am just not cut out for this.
During the Meranti Project over the last weekend, we had an experienced teacher come in for a dialogue session with my GESL group. The teacher shared something interesting with the group – the marigolds and the walnuts.
Many experienced gardeners follow a concept called companion planting: placing certain vegetables and plants near each other to improve growth for one or both plants. For example, rose growers plant garlic near their roses because it repels bugs and prevents fungal diseases. Among companion plants, the marigold is one of the best: It protects a wide variety of plants from pests and harmful weeds. If you plant a marigold beside most any garden vegetable, that vegetable will grow big and strong and healthy, protected and encouraged by its marigold.
Marigolds exist in our schools as well – encouraging, supporting and nurturing growing teachers on their way to maturity. If you can find at least one marigold in your school and stay close to them, you will grow. Find more than one and you will positively thrive.
While seeking out your marigolds, you’ll need to take note of the walnut trees. Successful gardeners avoid planting vegetables anywhere near walnut trees, which give off a toxic substance that can inhibit growth, wilt, and ultimately kill nearby vegetable plants. And sadly, if your school is like most, walnut trees will be abundant. They may not seem dangerous at first. In fact, some may appear to be good teachers – happy, social, well-organized. But here are some signs that you should keep your distance: Their take on the kids is negative. Their take on the administration is negative. Being around them makes you feel insecure, discouraged, overwhelmed, or embarrassed.
WALNUT TREES ARE POISON. Avoid them whenever you can. If you don’t, they will start to infect you, and soon you’ll hate teaching as much as they do.
– Jennifer Gonzalez, Find Your Marigold
I thought this was absolutely lovely. I am thankful that while I was in my old school, I had loads of marigolds around me. I shall strive to look out for the marigolds whilst in NIE. At the same time, I need to strive to make sure I do not become a walnut.
My Group Endeavours in Service Learning (GESL) group and I had to attend this 2-day course/module titled The Meranti Project. According to the National Institute of Education (NIE) website:
The Meranti Project is a MOE-funded personal and professional development programme specially tailored for student teachers. Held over two days in groups of 20, it has the following objectives:
a. helping student teachers to develop better self-awareness (better tuning into self);
b. providing a clearer idea of what Character and Citizenship Education (CCE) is all about and one’s role in nurturing CCE in innovative ways in the classroom;
c. better ideas of working with diversity in the classroom;
d. strategies for coping with being a teacher;
e. affirmation of choosing teaching as a career.
With the aid of informal dialogue sessions with veteran teachers, it gives student teachers the opportunity to listen to firsthand experiences of teachers and the perspectives of student learners. The programme also makes use of open sharing sessions and ingenious games to help the student teachers experience the core competencies of social emotional learning, to share their personal aspirations with their peers and to express their opinions in an open and creative environment.
At the end of the programme, student teachers will have a better grasp of the innovative approaches to Character and Citizenship Education and be better equipped when they begin their teaching journey upon graduation.
It was certainly an interesting 2-days. I will not blog about what happened as I respect the confidentiality agreement made before the course started but what I can say is that I had a very good facilitator.
I have heard horror stories from friends and seniors and I am really glad that my experience is rather positive. It is definitely due to the facilitator as well as my GESL group mates. After the end of the course, I guess I have learnt more about my GESL mates. Would I say it has brought us closer? Maybe. It has made me respect them more after hearing about their reasons and struggles about becoming an Education Officer (EO) and for a few of them, their journey has paralleled my own.
All in all, I guess this has taught me one thing. Keep an open mind. Always. Even if those who tells you one thing are someone close to you, someone whose advice really matters, keep an open mind. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Experiences are always personal and what may be a waste of time for someone may actually strike a chord in someone else.
Velleity (noun): a wish or inclination not strong enough to lead to action.
I recently came across this word and I could not believe just how much this actually describes what I am currently experiencing.
My previous post was about my difficulties in finding a job in ESOL. After coming across that word, I wonder if my difficulties are actually difficulties or just excuses.
A good friend asked me a year or so ago what were my plans. I told him I have not made any plans as I have not completed my degree. I am now an exam away from completing my degree and I still have no plans. I have dreams. But dreams without actions will only remain as dreams.
Unfortunately, even though I have these dreams of teaching ESOL overseas, I have no real call to action. I am afraid.
I am afraid I am not good enough. I am afraid of failure. Why bother when I am safe where I am?
Fear has paralysed me.
I will get out of this rut I am in. Step by step.
Word. By. Word.
I have passed the CELTA course. I am now a certified ESOL teacher. On paper.
In real life however, I am not an ESOL teacher. I have applied to a few schools and I have been rejected by all of them. Some cite the fact that I have yet to finish my Bachelor’s as a reason. Yet some others cite the fact that I do not have any relevant ESOL experience as a reason to reject my application. So here I am, stuck in limbo.
My final exams will be held in May 2016 and if everything goes well, my convocation will be held in October 2016. The longer I stay in my current job, the longer I end up not being able to teach ESOL. Not being able to teach ESOL means I will not be able to garner experience in teaching ESOL. I fear my time is running out.
I do not want to teach English in a mainstream school. I want to teach ESOL, not English.
I fear I may have to give up my dream if this goes on. I fear I may settle for teaching English after all.
God help me if that happens.
Actually, all I want is just to teach…