i have always scoffed at people who post their relationship status as complicated. i mean, how could it be complicated? you either are in a relationship or you are not. it’s a simple equation surely? boy likes girl, girl likes boy, tada! a relationship.
now i know how wrong i was.
cause it’s fucking complicated.
and i can’t even begin to peel the layers of complexity.
i’m finally confident enough to let someone know i like her… and that i am willing to jump into the deep end as long as she’s willing. and guess what? it’s complicated. oh don’t get me wrong. i’m willing to take whatever i am given. but therein lies the rub. i don’t know what i am being given. i really have no idea what i am in for. oh i say i do. and on the surface, i do. but deep down…? i don’t really know.
i’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
ah well. sod it. i said i’m willing to take whatever i’m given. i can’t ask more than that. it would be unfair to her.
heh. it’s complicated.
life has suddenly become more exciting than it used to be. every flavour i taste seems like a whole new one. it’s weird. hope it’s not some sort of virus or disease. but i actually like it. it kind of gave me new vigour and strength to do what must be done. but at the same time, it clouds my vision. i can’t see what’s ahead.
it’s scary. it feels like i’m jumping headlong into the deep end and that i do so without checking for any possible hazards. i’m afraid of heights and of falling and now, it feels like i’m climbing up to the top of the world and jumping down just ’cause it’s supposed to be fun!
i feel stupid. and yet, i want to do it all over again.
heh. i’m scared.
to avoid grief mode, once must walk away from that which causes him grief.
i’m walking.